I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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