She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
