U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
