omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize