he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
