I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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