somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
