I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize