I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
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An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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