im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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