People in love make me want to vomit
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
