Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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