I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
