She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
