I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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