So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
