you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
