I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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