My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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