I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
