this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
