She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
