Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
