420 ftw
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm both gender and math confused
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
