bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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