You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We're too hungover to prance.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
