I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
