jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want to have your abortion
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
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