But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
