i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize