Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
