it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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