The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
