Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize