i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
