I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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