Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
