ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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