I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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