plz talk dirty to me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
