Need sex. Gaining weight.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
