I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
