...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
