Sry I called you an 8
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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