im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
