I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
