if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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