How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
