I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
