I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
