Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
