My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
