i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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