So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize