i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
