Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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