You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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