best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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