i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
