party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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