No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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