How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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