i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
