Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
