You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's never too late to be topless.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize