Your mouth is God's brothel.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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