I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
